Welcome back to Campus and Coffee! My boyfriend and I are currently approaching another monthly milestone this week and in honor of this I thought I would talk about a subject very near and dear to my heart, long distance relationships. My wonderful boyfriend and I have been doing long distance ever since he moved July 11th to attend Florida State University in the fall (plus an additional two months or so during quarantine). From the beginning, I knew FSU was his dream school and when we started dating last summer I accepted the fact that we would eventually have to make the decision... long distance or go our separate ways. Fortunately, both of us decided we wanted to stay together and make things work and I am so optimistic that we will be able to continue our relationship throughout college.
From the get go it's been a little tough adjusting to this change. Not being able to face-time as much due to conflicting schedules is a slight challenge we face, but we have been able to take extra steps such as texting more and sending care packages. Being in a long distance relationship is difficult. There will be times where people don't support your choice to stay together (especially at such a young age) and times where you are just craving a hug from the person you love. But in the end, if you truly feel this person is worth it then I really hope you follow your heart.
At first, I definitely spent too much time being sad over the circumstances and wishing we could have just one more week together, but once I accepted my reality and motivated myself to look at the positives I began to see this situation in a whole new light. I can now clearly see that this physical distance is an opportunity to become more independent and focus on my academics. I can also used this time to focus on my blog and other forms of self growth. I have put off so many passion projects in the past because I felt that I didn't have enough free time and now I can still maintain a relationship with someone I love with a little more space in my schedule. Being in a long distance relationship is also great for increasing the communication skills in your relationship. Over this short amount of time I have felt my relationship grow stronger because of how clear we have to be with our feelings and intentions. It is important to be patient (not just with you S.O but with yourself as well) when taking the plunge into a long distance relationship. People react in different ways when it comes to change. In my case, I found myself becoming a little more clingy when my boyfriend moved away, and that's okay! Be kind to yourself and give yourself the much needed time to adjust. That being said, I'm still learning the ropes when it comes to a LDR, but I feel that I have some great tips for those of you beginning one this fall.
Number 1) It's okay to not text all the time
It's really important to find your groove when it comes to how much or how little you and your S.O should text and face-time. This can vary from couple to couple so it is important to either have a conversation or if you already have a pretty set routine try and stick to your normal talking amount. Things will change and either you or your S.O will become more busy from time to time so make sure to respect the other persons availability and schedule. On days when my boyfriend and I aren't able to face-time, I've noticed we tend to text more often. Find your happy balance and what makes you both comfortable.
Number 2) Feeling lonely is healthy
Some days you will really miss having that person by your side and want to wallow in sadness. But luckily, this is super normal and healthy. My quickest fix to this feeling is having a healthy distraction. This could be reaching out to friends, participating in your favorite hobbies (mine are painting and writing!), or even been a tiny bit lazy and binge watching Netflix. If you really miss that person send them a text, snapchat, or maybe even a letter in the mail! Chances are they are missing you as much as you miss them and this action could definitely brighten their day.
Number 3) Schedule Online Dates if you find the time
This one hands down has to be my favorite. I absolutely love doing this with my boyfriend. Online dates are a great way to stay connected. Some examples of this could be ordering (or cooking) the same dinner to eat together over face-time (like a mini restaurant date!), using zoom to watch a Netflix show or movie at the same time (we did this with the Bachelor), or even playing Minecraft on the same server together! (although I'm not very good at it LOL). Use this time to connect in ways rather than plain phone conversations and keep the spark alive!
I hope y'all enjoyed reading and if you have any questions feel free to reach out
